I am a maltreatment survivor

I remember when I was little, about 6 or 7 years old, I will cry so hard and scream on the top of my lungs every time my mother leaves me. I will run and hit or kick the door so hard, hoping that my mother will hear me. I was thinking, probably when she hears me cry, she will change her mind about leaving for work. I always pray that she will stay with me and not leave me alone with my nanny.

In our culture, we leave in an environment where people help and take care of each other - not just people related to us but also our neighbors and community. People live by honor and trust. When somebody closer to you refers someone, you mark their word and seal the deal. That is how my mother hired my nanny. She was referred by a good friend. She was about 20 years old, quiet and very responsible. She was from the southern portion of the Philippines. She does everything in the house. She became our mother when my mother is not around. She makes sure that we study and finish our homework before my mother and father arrives home. My mother always tells us to listen to her and obey when she tells us to do something. She had given her sort of an authority to do what she must to discipline us but I am sure corporal punishment is not a part of the deal because my father and mother never “laid their hands on us”.

I remember getting pinching whatever part of my body she reaches just because she did not hear me say “yes” or “no” when being asked. I get hitting on my bottom using slippers or the stick from a broom just because I cannot walk so fast or cannot do the chores the way she wanted it to be done. One day I fell on the stairs trying to carry all the cleaning materials because I need to bring it all downstairs as fast as I can to please her. When I go out to play and come home dirty or with a wound, she will put me to bath and she will scrub me so hard with the”panghilod” (rough rock) and she will sometimes use a small towel to scrub my wound even the skin is starting to heal, she will continue to do it and telling me: “that’s what you get from playing outside…”. My wound always takes time to heal. The only time it will get better is when my mother sends me to have a vacation in my auntie’s house for the summer. Imagine how long I have to wait and endure all the pain. When my mother or father comes home late she puts me in the far, dark room in our house and let me stay there by myself. I remember one night, there was thunder and lighting and I am all by myself. I was so scared but cannot get out of the bed because I do not have any choice… the fear of my nanny overcome the fear of the loud thunder and lighting. I will just fall asleep and wake up having to think about what is going to happen to me again.

Having experienced this physical and social/ emotional abuse, my preschool and elementary years were not really a great experience. I remember being quiet at all times, shy and my self- esteem were really low even my grades are low compared to the rest of my siblings. They are all scholars at our school and they get awards every recognition day and I am the only one who was left out. In spite of being different my mother and father always supported me in activities that I love doing. They never compared me with my siblings and always believed and convinced me that each one of us has our own unique qualities and it is up to us to figure it out. The love and support my parents and siblings had erased all the bad experiences I had when I was little.  Believe it or not, I still have great appreciation for my nanny because she had made a strong person and made me what I am today.  

   In those days it is not considered as maltreatment, it is considered to be a part of molding or teaching children a lesson in life. Respect, discipline and obedience are the main thing in our culture. They believe that the combination of these experiences will make us a better person.

Upon taking this course, I realized that what I experienced is considered to be maltreatment, I considered myself fortunate because I have parent and siblings that cares for me and balances everything.  I believe there are children who experienced the same maltreatment as mine that did turn out to be positive the way mine does. The question that Berger mentioned in her book about: how frequently does maltreatment occur? I guess I will say that it is possible to say (rather than “impossible”) that not all cases of maltreatment are noticed, not all are noticed and reported, and not all that are reported are substantiated. Neglect is particularly likely to be ignored (Berger, (2006).

The question now is how can we distinguished maltreatment and what can we do to prevent maltreatment among children wherein other culture does not considered it as such.


Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.       


I would like to share a video of the children in the Philippines living in poverty at this address, please watch and learn more about the country where I grew up. It is really difficult to see that the people especially the children are living in this condition, the poor gets poorer and poorer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0anJ1LI30mE. In spite of the hardship, family remains intact, religion and culture plays a very big role in each one's survival.

Recycling food from the garbage and fast food restaurant 

“Pagpag”- ( Tagalog word for dust-off)

I would like to share videos about people who makes a living from gathering Styrofoam containers and boxes, plastic fork, spoons, cups and left over food to sell and recycled. They collect the plastic trash bags from fast food restaurant every night or early in the morning. They separate the food inside the container and sell it for P 50 ($1) a box to street restaurant (“mini carinderia”), they will wash it with hot or boiling water and then re-cook it. The vendor then sells it for P10 ( 20 cents) per plate/ serving. They call this “pagpag”” which means to dust –off. This video will make you say “unbelievable” and “unreal” but it is really happening. I myself could not believe that this is real; this is the place where I grew up. The poverty has spread around the country and has affected about 2/3 of the population.  I am posting it in my blog because I want to show how poverty can affect the nutrition and health of the people around the world especially the children. Upon watching this, hopefully we will change the way we live and understand the various context that contribute or impede children’s health and nutrition. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQGsWKzRrdI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn0XynCvqIE&NR=1

This topic is meaningful to me because I would like to fully understand child development and the multicontextual influences that shape children’s future. Evidence of multicontextual development has been shown in this weekly readings and the video that I showed you. Children’s public health, mental health and emotional health are highly affected and influenced by the country’s economy such as laws, cultural norms and also religion. Population control is not promoted but instead focusing on responsible parenthood. The population has exploded thus jeopardizing the nutrition and health of the child, the communities and society as well. Lack of education is another context that impacts child development.

In today’s economy, it will be very challenging to provide the basic needs of children. There are lots of people losing their jobs; their homes and livelihood whether it is caused by natural disaster or economic meltdown losing your source of income have a lasting effect on growth and development. Economy and family has a major impact on child development.   When children are exposed to a poor living condition their health, their growth and development are being affected. When children go to school with an empty stomach, they lose focus or their ability to   think and participate in day to day activities. Without proper nutrition they tend to get sick, they can hurt themselves easily, irritable and their behavior is affected too. Some children are and emotional problem will occur later in life.

In spite of hardship and poverty, I would like you to see how an economy impacts the development and growth of children. How two or other cultures differ from each other. What makes us grow closer and keep our family together in spite of the challenges in our economy and our environment? What makes us enjoy and live life to the fullest? What drives everyone to do this kind of life or living? Please let me know on how this video change the way you see the world.

My Personal Birthing Experience

I remember my first pregnancy in 1997; it was a difficult year for me because that is the year when I left my family in the Philippines to be with my spouse here in Hawaii. It is also the time that my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (Stage 4). My first trimester was really difficult because I have ‘morning sickness’ the whole day. I am throwing up the whole day and very picky about the kind food I am going to eat. I was very sensitive and emotional about everything. I was crying the whole time too thinking about my mother’s condition. To stay closer to my family, I call them overseas call every night. My husband was so worried about my situation and after 7 months of my stay, he wrote his command to sponsor us to come home to the Philippines – the main reason for our approval is my dying mom. I surprised my mom and told her, it was my birthday gift from my husband to be with her. I was 4 months pregnant then and continued my prenatal check-up over there. I spent my whole second trimester caring for my mother until she died in August. I went back to Hawaii during the start of my last trimester and had my first born here. I had a difficult labor and my doctor offered me a choice to have an epidural. The pain was bearable after the epidural but it affected my ‘pushing’ of the baby. After seeing my baby, I have forgotten all the pain and all the hardship in my pregnancy. I named my baby after my mother to honor and remember her legacy.

I was reflecting the other night while trying to put my blog assignment together and realized how my culture played an important part in my life. In our culture, we stay close and always connected with our family. Even though we have our own family, we are committed to care for our parents when they grew older or get sick. Actually even our neighbors offer help without asking anything in return. We call it ‘bayanihan’(helping hand) and ‘pasasalamat’ (appreciation).  It is our way of thanking them for taking care of us and it is our turn now to return the favor. I chose this experience because I want to show and share how culture differs from the other. It may be hard to understand why we do this things but that is how it should be and how we were brought up.  This is how my parents were with their parents, how we are with them and probably how our children will become in the future.

I would like to share with you a video of the different birthing experiences in the Philippines. You will see  great difference on how the birthing process in the Philippines compared to the US and  you will be amazed and be inspired at the same time .  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1cur-aPdeQ&NR=1 I will not be able to translate everything in it but I will try to explain briefly how the economy plays a major role in finding alternative means to give birth. The first clip shows how the couple preferred the lying in clinic because the rates or charges are fixed and they believed that she is safe to give birth over there. Lying-in Clinic is a place wherein a woman stay in the clinic the day she is about to give birth. A doctor or a midwife can attend to the delivery. They spent about 5K to 7K pesos ($100-$350) for this kind of services. This couple earned a minimum wage of 350.00 pesos per day; they saved 500.00 pesos per pay day ($100.00) for 6 months to prepare for this day.

 Public hospitals charges 7K to 10K (($150 - $210) normal delivery  and 40K ($830) for C section while Private Hospitals charges 20K to 100K excluding the professional doctor’s fee and about 30k to 100k for C Section.

Others preferred the ‘ hilot’ (massage) or the traditional or natural birth done at home. The delivery is done by a public health worker which was trained by the Department of Health. They are authorized under Republic Act 7833 known as the  Barangay Health Care workers benefit and Incentives of 1995 which refers to ‘barangay health workers’ refers to a person who has undergone training programs under any accredited government and non- government organization  and who voluntarily renders primarily health care services in the community. Nana Fely renders her services for 1k pesos ($ 21.00). Sometimes people cannot pay her and it is ok at least was able them out help out. She has 52 years of experience; she attended the training conducted by the Department of Health (DOH) in 1972 on how to help deliver babies. The DOH acknowledges their presence due to lack of professionals who can perform the job. Emily prefers to do it at home because she does not have any money to pay for the hospital. She wants to do it at her home because everything she needs is accessible. Though there are modern practices and other alternative for birthing, there are lots of people who still prefer to do the traditional or old ways.  

I have learned that poverty has been the main reason in almost all the decision making of the people in the videos. I was thinking, if they have the resources, do you think they will still be choosing this kind of birthing?  The difference between my birthing experiences here in the US compared to where I grew up (Philippines) was the health systems and economy. Some countries in Asia particularly in the Philippine, pregnant women cannot afford to do regular prenatal check-ups and eat the food or drink the medicines or vitamins needed for their pregnancy. Only a small percentage can afford it. There are no WIC programs or Head Start program to support the women, infant in children.

The birthing experience in the developed countries maybe modern and advance compared to the developing countries but whatever practice they do, both cultures tried to learn and adopt each other’s practices.

To my fellow ECE bloggers please visit you tube and watch the video entitled ‘panganganak’ and tell me what you think about it and what you have learned about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1cur-aPdeQ&NR=1