Aloha To My Ohana EC Bloggers: Blog Assignment: Observing Communication

ALOHA TO MY OHANA

To my Fellow Early Childhood Bloggers,

Welcome to my blog site. Let me say: Aloha to my Ohana, which means "Welcome to my Family".

I am an Asian American who migrated in the US in 1997. I came from the Philippines and Filipino/ Tagalog is my first language. I migrated here in the US to start a family. I am now living here in Hawaii with my husband and three children. I am currently working as an Assistant Director at Ford Island Child Development Center in Pearl Harbor.

This is going to be an interesting journey for all of us and I am looking forward to blog with all of you.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Blog Assignment: Observing Communication

A grandmother was sitting at a restaurant with her grandchild waiting for their food. The child seems very happy and excited. Her grandmother was hugging and kissing her. The little girl looked at her grandma's face and pointed to her lips and then her hat. The grandmother asked her what does she wants. The little girl said she like the same as grandma. The grandmother pointed to her lips and said : "like this", the child nodded. The grandmother looked inside her bag and took her lipstick out. The little girl's eyes got bigger and begun to clap her hands. Her grandmother applied the lipstick on her and gave her a small mirror. She also took off her hat and gave it to her grandchild to wear. She asked her why she wanted it, The grandchild said wanted to be like her. The grandmother laughed and said that she was even prettier than her. The child said again: "just like you grandma. I look pretty". The grandma smiled and gave her a hug and kisses. Her grandmother took out her camera and took a picture of her. The child asked her grandma to wait and made a pretty pose. Her grandma asked her to seat properly and not to cover her knees. The child said I have to cover this (pointing at her scar), grandma laughed again and the child giggled. The child made a thumb up sign and grandmother smiled and took a picture of her.

I seldom see situation like this wherein an elder get along this close with young children especially in my culture. Usually children has to sit still and quietly on the table and wait until your grandma or grandpa talked to you. In this situation, I learned the importance of listening and looking at non-verbal cues from the people you are communicating with and because of this a positive relationship has been formed. The grandmother allowed her grandchild to have her lipstick and dug deeper into finding the reason why she wanted it and in return the child unknowingly complimented her grandmother by telling her how much she wanted to look like her. The child was able to express herself and appreciate her grandmother by showing how happy she was with her. At the same time the grandmother gave the child the opportunity to be who she wanted to be at that moment and be proud of her own self.

I would say that the grandmother did a wonderful job in communicating with her grandchild. She listened and was very supportive of her. She opened herself to the idea of what her grandchild wanted to do instead of discouraging or ignoring her request. As what Holbeck said :"children communicate, really , all different ways and use their bodies so much that if you're sensitive, you can really pick up cues about how to communicate. Just like her grandmother did.

This week lessons taught me how to look more deeper into what children has to say and what verbal and non-verbal cues they have to get to know them better. I will try to acknowledge what they have to say and not just listen for the sake of being listening but to understand the message and the reason behind the things they do. I will also put myself in their shoes and allow myself to be a kid again and have fun with them every day.

Reference:

http://mym.cdn.laureate-media.com/Walden/EDUC/6358/03/downloads/WAL_EDUC6358_03_A_EN.pdf

5 comments:

Barbara2November 17, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Anabel,
What a great story about a grandmother and her granddaughter. These kinds of demonstration of love and understanding do not happen much any more, especially in public.
Thank you for this story, it reminds me to be a more attentive grandmother and teacher.
Barbara
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http://cbellmasteringeducation.blogspot.comNovember 17, 2012 at 8:50 PM
Anabel, I really enjoyed reading your blog as always. Positive interaction with children is always a plus, especially with communication. This lady made the child feel comfortable by playing with her; which allowed her to feel free. Create a safe, playing and listening environment for children (Laureate, Lisa Kolbeck, 2010). Great Blog!
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Jo AnnNovember 18, 2012 at 5:46 AM
This is such a great observation. A year or so ago I would have not looked at this situation in the way you and I do now. I would have thought it was great and sweet, but I would not have realized the importance of this interaction and the relationship that was being formed. Great Post!
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ShannonNovember 18, 2012 at 8:51 PM
Anabel,

I always love reading your blog. It is great how the grandmother listened to the granddaughter and didn't just automatically tell her no or to be quiet.

Shannon
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Teresa GNovember 18, 2012 at 9:32 PM
Anabel,
this was a great observation! The grandmother interacted with this little girl and made wonderful connections that this child will always remember. I am learning that it is the little things we do day to day that will help mold our children into the adults they will one day become.
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My Nanay (means ‘Mother’ in Tagalog) Clarita is the heart and soul of our home. She is a positive thinker and a good motivator. She always look at the good things in life and understands also the challenges that comes with it. The only face you see is her smile which brighten the day of so many people. She lives everyday making sure that she has done everything she could and treated each day as if it was her last day. You will never see her complain about things and finds solutions rather than blame people.

My mother raised seven children and she treated each one of us uniquely because she believes that each one of us have our own strength and weaknesses. She treated us differently in a good way because she believes that we are unique in our own special way. She also respects us and allow us to grow independently knowing our unique qualities. She also make sure that we discover our own identity and passion and supports us in any endeavor that we want to pursue.

I remember when I was little that my father an mother were so proud of my siblings because they excelled academically in school. I remember my brothers and sister compete in spelling bee or represent our school in science, math or debate contests. Every recognition day, my parents stayed on the stage to accept awards or medals for my siblings achievements. My mom never said anything to me but I know she tried her best to motivate, inspire and give incentives or recognition to inspire me to do well in school. She continued to support me in any activities that I am interested and always believe in me. She reminded me all the time not to feel or think that I am different but believed in me all time. I may be different from my siblings but I am no less than them. She said that each one of us has our own unique way of doing things and should not be compared with each other. She never compared us with each other. She accepted us as unique individuals with unique qualities and abilities.

Now that I am a parent of three wonderful children I would like to do the same with my children. Respect their differences, support them with their choices and guide them to become a better person.

Tatay Benito

My father is the foundation of our home. He is a good provider and has dedicated his life working to send us all to a good school. “Good provider to us” is giving all he got and most of the time “more than what he got”. My father works as a supervisor in Central Bank of the Philippines. Though he does not have enough to take home for pay, he still managed to send us all to college and to a good school too.

I remembered my father telling us the importance of education. He said his wish for us is to study hard and finish college. I remembered him saying that he regrets not going to school, he often said: “If only I studied harder and finish college, our situation will be better than this.”

During enrollment time my father will bring the title of our land and our house to the bank and serve as “collateral” for our educational loan. One time, my little brother wanted to buy something and he asks my father if he could have five pesos (our currency), my father gave his pay envelop to him. The coins fell off the envelope, my father only have about five pesos and about sixty cents. My little brother gave it back to him and never asks money from him anymore.

Another experience my eldest brother shared with me was when my father brought him to the cemetery, the jail and the museum, where they display the pictures of the President of the Philippines and their accomplishments. My father told him: “Son I brought you here to show you that these are your choices in life - either you die, go to jail or make the most out of your life and become a successful person; it is up to you to make that decision”.

With these inspiring stories and experiences that I learned and wanted to pass it on to my children. I would like them to make their own choices and whatever decisions they made, whether it is right or wrong, they need to take responsibility, find resolution and face the consequences of their actions.

These are my brothers and sister. Believe it or not, we never ever fight. We have so much respect for each other. When our parents ask us who is going to wash the dishes or clean something, all of us are in a hurry to do it first. When somebody gets to do it first, we still help each other out to finish the tasks. I am the fifth out of seven and I treat my elder brother and eldest sister with much respect as we have for our father or mother. In our culture, when your big brother asks you to do something, we just do it without asking questions. We just obey. If we have one candy, we will cut it into small pieces and get our shares, the weirdest thing is: the biggest portion of the candy will be left and nobody will take it or we give it to our youngest brother. We complement each other and respect each other’s privacy.

Our house has five rooms on the second floor. Our rooms do not have doors on it because my parents believed that an open room means open communication. Anyone can go in and out of any rooms. When I was little, we all sleep together on the floor with mat on it; except for my eldest sister and eldest brother they have their own bed as well as my parents. Nobody says: ‘it’s not fair!”

Aloha To My Ohana EC Bloggers

ALOHA TO MY OHANA

ALOHA TO MY OHANA

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Blog Assignment: Observing Communication

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